If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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