I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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