He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
