Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
