PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
