so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
