i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
