the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
