I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
