my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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