I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
