I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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