Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
