I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
