smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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