I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
