You made me cry and you don't even care
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
