That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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