Me too!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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