last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Oh god it's open bar.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
