Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
only you would photoshop your dick
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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