Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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