PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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