I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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