I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize