You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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