My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
