I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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