Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
