Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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