Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I sprained my soul last night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
