What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
