I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
