saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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