Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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