suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
