I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize