Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
