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sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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