Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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