do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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