Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just high enough for therapy.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
