Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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