all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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