My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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