I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Send help, water and tortillas.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
