So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
