if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
sarcasm needs its own font
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she told me i tasted like america
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
