Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
