we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
