Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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