Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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