the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
