I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
