For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
