I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
