and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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