Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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