I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
