I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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