She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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