I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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