We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She made me pour olive oil on her.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
