i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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