im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
