the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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