You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
