The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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