I'm eating all of the evidence.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
