at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
