Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize